I just have a few minutes so this will be a super quick post...

1.) My doctor finally called me back today to tell me that my ultrasound looked good and that I do NOT need a D&C. Thank you so much for your prayers!

2.) So I've had several questions about something I mentioned in the last post and I wanted to explain it real fast.... Emma has, what seems to be, a chronic cough (mainly at night when she lays down), and her doctor is basically trying to rule some things out....allergies (none), red & white blood count (normal), immune system (slightly lower than normal, but "nothing to be concerned about"), and one or two other things that I can't remember at the moment. As I mentioned in the last post, she was also tested for cystic fibrosis last Tuesday (people with CF have a defective gene that essentially causes the body to produce unusually thick, sticky mucus, which can make them cough a lot)...Emma's test was normal. Since everything has come back normal and she seems to be extremely healthy (other than this cough which has lasted for a year or so, off & on), he is treated her for a mild type of asthma. She takes a quick breathing treatment at night and so far has been cough-free. :o) Yea!!

Love you all! I'll try to update again soon! :o)

It's been one crazy week, that's all I can say!!

I (Julie) am doing much better now, physically & emotionally. Those first few days after finding out about the miscarriage, I did not want to talk to anyone (except Brett, of course). But after about 3-4 days, I started answering my phone again and getting back into a somewhat normal routine. I found out that it was actually helpful for me to talk to people about everything.

Unfortunately, I've had a pretty bad experience with my doctor's office and plan on finding another OBGYN as soon as all this is over (mainly stuff like them not calling me with results when they said they would, one nurse telling me something and another telling me the opposite, etc). All that to say...I still don't know if my body has fully discarded of everything and I'm now having to wait until Monday to see what the next step is. One thing I do know for sure is that my hCG level (a hormone produced during pregnancy) is definitely dropping, which is a really good sign. From my own limited understanding of things, it appears that my body is doing what it is supposed to do, so hopefully I will not be having a D&C (but like I said, I should know more from my doctor on Monday).

Brett has been SO amazing and supportive through all of this. He has loved me and served me and comforted me and prayed with/for me, etc. every step of the way (despite his own painful issue going on , which I'm about to tell you about). What a wonderful husband and friend!!!!! I can't even begin to imagine what this would have been like without him. I'm so very grateful!

So let me tell you about our other "excitement"...
5:20am on Wednesday morning Brett woke up with a very uncomfortable feeling in his lower back, right side. By 6am, he was in excruciating pain. By 6:25, we were at the ER. They fairly quickly diagnosed it as kidney stones. He was given morphine for the pain, which thankfully kicked in very fast. His CT scan showed that he has 4 or 5 more stones, but they said they're small enough that he shouldn't feel them pass. So after several hours, we were dismissed from the hospital and went home. Brett was quite drugged up and slept for a good bit of the day, which he really needed! He has continued to stay on his meds and is doing much better now. He received quite a bit of sympathy from nurses and hospital staff . Apparently, passing a kidney stone is comparable to the pain experienced during labor (or like "peeing barbed wire" as one of the doctors so kindly informed us). Brett said it was, by far, the most painful thing he has ever had to go through. Hopefully, all that excitement is over and done with!!!

There were a few other stressful events during the week as well...locking our keys in our car, several nights in a row with little sleep, Emma being tested for cystic fibrosis (which came back negative, PTL!!), all the miscommunication with & unpleasant visits to my doctor's office, etc. Let's just say we're REALLY looking forward to the weekend. Brett's mom came in town yesterday to visit and help us with Emma. We are excited about getting some good, long naps in and having a fun date night together. Sue, Emma, and I, (assuming I get the "okay" from the doctor on Monday) will be going to TX on Tuesday for a few days. It will be a fairly quick trip to see our family. Then Brett will be taking some vacation days the first of July and we will get to spend some more time in TX seeing family & friends. We're so excited about that!! Thank you all SO MUCH again for your prayers and encouragement through all of this. We are so very grateful for each of you!!! :o)

First of all, we just wanted to say THANK YOU for the many prayers, emails, cards, etc. We wanted to update you on the situation & ask for your continued prayers...

So, yesterday wasn't the best Father's Day ever, but it will certainly be a memorable one. I had my actual miscarriage yesterday around 5:30. Of course, this is a huge praise b/c (hopefully) that means I won't have to have the D&C; however, I don't think anybody realizes how awful of an experience this is until you go through it.

I certainly won't give you all the details, but I know that before this experience I understood nothing about what actually happens during a miscarriage. I used to think, "Oh, how sad that they lost their baby." But it is so much more than that! Actually WAITING for this miscarriage to happen was the hardest! Falling asleep at night, I used to put my hand across my belly and pray & think about our baby that would be coming soon. On Thursday night, it was heartbreaking to lay in bed and know that the baby within me was dead...there were 3 nights of that. Our whole mind-frame had to change all of a sudden...all my thoughts of pregnancy, maternity clothes, working on the nursery, picking out a name, looking forward to feeling the first kick, preparing Emma and ourselves, etc. came to a screeching halt. Our hearts have felt so saddened.

WARNING: You may wish to skip this next paragraph. I'm about to share a few of the physical aspects of a miscarriage.

It is, of course, very difficult emotionally to go through a miscarriage, but I'd say it is almost equally hard physically as it is emotionally. There's LOTS of cramping and bleeding involved. I had bad menstrual-like cramps for 36+ hours and then the more intense cramps lasted about 3 hours (comparable to early labor contractions). I lost an INCREDIBLE amount of blood, which made me feel very weak and light-headed (after a phone call to the doctor and assurance that it was normal, we ended up not going to the ER). Once the tissue passes (which the doctor asked us to collect and bring in for testing...ugh!), the cramps stopped immediately. The bleeding has definitely slowed down, but I'm told may last for another week or two.

We're praying that everything is over & that I have passed everything that needs to be passed. I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow (Tuesday @ 1:30) to see what the next step is. There's always a chance that my body didn't fully discard everything and that they'd have to still do a D&C. Please pray that this won't be the case.

I hope I didn't offend anybody with too many details. As hard as this has been, there has also been a sense of awe and praise through it all. God is so AMAZING!! Pregnancy is such an amazing and complicated process! It's incredible, really, all that has to happen in order to make a healthy baby!! And in His infinite wisdom & love, God created women's bodies to do this (to miscarry) when something is not happening the way He designed it to. We are obviously saddened by our loss, but we are so grateful that we serve a God who is sovereign and takes care of us when we are hurting.

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There are 2 songs that we have listened to a lot in the last few days that I wanted to share. One song, "Blessed Be the Name," is a very familiar song to many of us, but it sure meant something new and different to us as we went through this experience.

BLESSED BE YOUR NAME
by Matt Redman

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name

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NEW DAY
by Robbie Seay

I'm gonna sing this song
To let you know that you're not alone
And if you're like me You need hope, coffee, and melody
So sit back down Let the world keep spinning ‘round
For yesterday's gone and today is waiting on you to show your face.

It might not be
The prettiest thing that you'll ever see
But it’s a new day, oh baby, it’s a new day
And it might not look like
A beautiful sunrise
But it's a new day, oh baby, it’s a new day

I’m a pilgrim soul
I've traveled far and come back home
This land is hard and cold
For those who long to love
And I know it might seem
That the world is crumbling
But it’s me and you dancing in the kitchen at 2 am
And we're still alive

It’s the calm of the storm that comes blowing in
It’s the springtime saying I'm back again
The clouds that roll by
Crossing moonlight
Me and you love – everything's alright
Standing in the rain with nowhere to go
Laughing and we're spinning and I hope that you
Remember this day
For the rest of your life
Me and you love – everything’s gonna be alright

And it just might be
The prettiest thing that you'll ever see
It’s a new day
Oh baby, it’s a new day
If you look outside
To see a beautiful sunrise
It’s a new day

June 12, 2008

This may be kinda weird to blog about, but I figured I have to tell everyone somehow...and it's just easier to type it than to talk about it.... We found out this afternoon that I had a miscarriage. It's been a really difficult day. So much to take in.

I hope this doesn't come across rude, but please don't feel like you need to leave a comment or call us...especially right now because, honestly, I'd really rather not talk about it. I may feel differently about it in a few days/weeks (and possibly even need to talk about it to help with the grieving process), but for now, it's just too hard to talk about.

I WOULD, however, like to ask for your prayers for something specific. It's Thursday right now. By Monday, if I have not "passed" everything naturally, then my doctor said we'll need to schedule a D&C for next week (which is a procedure that removes remaining embryonic or placental tissue, etc). I would much rather my body take care of this naturally. There's some pretty scary risks and possible complications for future pregnancies that come along with a D&C procedure.

Ultimately, we're resting in the knowledge that God is good and He loves us and He knows best. He has been so faithful already to pour out His love, peace, and comfort on us through all of this. We're trusting Him and depending on Him completely for our strength to get through this. Again, I would ask that if the Lord brings us to mind this weekend, please pray that I would pass everything within the next couple days on my own so that I don't have to have this procedure next week.

We're really grateful for your love and prayers (now and always)!!

Yes, I finally updated!!! :o)

Hmmm.....8 days short of 2 months......TWO MONTHS that I haven't updated our blog!! That's a little ridiculous, huh? Sorry 'bout that! Well, as you can imagine, lots has happened in our world in 2 months time. I would tell you that I'll just cut to the chase & keep it short, but you know me better than that, right? :o) Sorry, I can't help it....believe it or not, I really am just giving you some highlights of our last 7 weeks!

• Emma is still doing GREAT with the whole potty training thing! She wets her pull-up occasionally at night, and every once in a while she has an accident during the day if we don't hurry to the potty. But overall, she's a pro at it now! YEA!!! It's so nice to have a break from diapers....at least for a little while!! :o)

• O-week has come and gone. This is one of the most important events that the organization that Brett works for does. The focus of the week is to prepare students (spiritually, emotionally, culturally, etc) to go "to the ends of the earth" for summer projects. There were 145 students this year and about 100 volunteers. Brett's job: to organize the meals for all 245 people throughout the week, among other things. My job: I was the "snack-guru" for the week. I ran to Wal-mart and/or Sam's each day to keep the 2 volunteer snack rooms stocked with yummy snacks for everyone, as well as plan a snack each night for all the students. We both had a great week, but it was pretty exhausting.

• Emma spent all of o-week (plus an extra day on the front & back end) with both sets of grandparents in Texas (they traded off mid-week). She had a blast! We are so thankful that she was able to spend all that time with Grammie, Poppie, Nana, Pawpaw, and Aunt Carrie. Unfortunately, Emma was sick before, during, and after her trip to TX, with 2 different things. She's finally all better now, but it was kinda a bummer that she wasn't feeling 100% during the relatively short time that she got to see our family. We're hoping we'll get to make a trip to TX again real soon!! :o)

• Brett celebrated his 35th birthday this past weekend!! I think I kinda embarrassed him on Friday by bringing a bunch of balloons to his office. Each balloon had a note (words to unscramble) that told the "plan" or activity that we'd do next. I tried to make his birthday celebration last all weekend long b/c for some reason my birthday celebration always ends up being several weeks long (mainly b/c Emma and I's birthdays are so close together so we usually see family around that time). Anyway, we had a fun weekend together and I think Brett had a good birthday.

• Summer is definitely here in Kansas! Today felt miserably hot....I think it was only in the low 90s, but it sure felt hotter than that with the humidity. Back in TX, I'm sure low 90s sound good. From what we hear, Wichita gets just as hot as Waco in the Summer, it's just that the Summer doesn't last as long (ie: it's June already, and we're just now having hot days). Along with the Summer weather, a new & different Summer schedule has started too. I have a break until the Fall from doing the childcare on Wednesday mornings for a women's small group. My small group is meeting at night over the summer (w/out kids) instead of Thursday mornings (w/kids). My friend Lesli invited Emma and I to join a "mom's day out" group every Tuesday....basically, we watch all the kids once a month and then we have the other 3 Tuesdays to run errands, clean house, etc. That's been awesome!!! (except that we've only made it to 2 of them since we've been out of town some and Emma was sick). Another thing that always seems to come along with Summer is busy weekends.....out of the 13 weekends left, we have plans 8 of those weekends already (many are work-related and most of those weekends are out of town, which means lots of traveling...ugh!!)

• We have a garden! (thanks to Brett's mom & dad...They basically did it all for us on their last visit...and Brett has done all the work on/in it since). Are you ready for this??? Out in our back yard, we have: lettuce (3 kinds), green onions, tomatoes, squash, zucchini, red & yellow bell peppers, garlic, cucumbers, asparagus, parsley, oregano, thyme, cilantro, dill & jalapeños. Also, we have 2 pear trees that look like they are actually producing fruit & a grape vine covering our back patio that seems to be making grapes as well (these were already there from the previous owners). Cool huh?!!?! We're pretty excited!!
  

One last thing...I have a pretty good video that you might like to see. Emma has something to tell you.... (play button should be at bottom left of picture).

Did you get that?








"Mommy, a baby in da' belly."


Woohoo!! We're so grateful and excited!!!!! I'm about 9 weeks or so. Due date is January 5th. I've been dying to blog about this for weeks now, but we wanted to wait until we were able to share the news with family first. Then we decided to wait a few more days until I went to my first doctor's appt. So, anyways, that's our big news!! :o) Emma is going to be a big sister.....and she has no idea what that means, but she's pretty excited!!
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I'll end with a few pics of our little cutie!!

Once again, here's the face she makes when I say, "Emma, SMILE!!" I may end up with an entire album of just these type pictures!!!


Drama-mama! But oh, how the ice pack makes everything all better!!


TULIPS!! My favorite!! Growing right in our own yard!!!! I love it!!


Yep, it's an asparagus spear!!! Who knew you had to harvest them every couple days?!?!! If you don't, this is what happens! Crazy, huh?!?! This is pretty amazing....it's worth zooming in on for a closer look!!