First of all, we just wanted to say THANK YOU for the many prayers, emails, cards, etc. We wanted to update you on the situation & ask for your continued prayers...

So, yesterday wasn't the best Father's Day ever, but it will certainly be a memorable one. I had my actual miscarriage yesterday around 5:30. Of course, this is a huge praise b/c (hopefully) that means I won't have to have the D&C; however, I don't think anybody realizes how awful of an experience this is until you go through it.

I certainly won't give you all the details, but I know that before this experience I understood nothing about what actually happens during a miscarriage. I used to think, "Oh, how sad that they lost their baby." But it is so much more than that! Actually WAITING for this miscarriage to happen was the hardest! Falling asleep at night, I used to put my hand across my belly and pray & think about our baby that would be coming soon. On Thursday night, it was heartbreaking to lay in bed and know that the baby within me was dead...there were 3 nights of that. Our whole mind-frame had to change all of a sudden...all my thoughts of pregnancy, maternity clothes, working on the nursery, picking out a name, looking forward to feeling the first kick, preparing Emma and ourselves, etc. came to a screeching halt. Our hearts have felt so saddened.

WARNING: You may wish to skip this next paragraph. I'm about to share a few of the physical aspects of a miscarriage.

It is, of course, very difficult emotionally to go through a miscarriage, but I'd say it is almost equally hard physically as it is emotionally. There's LOTS of cramping and bleeding involved. I had bad menstrual-like cramps for 36+ hours and then the more intense cramps lasted about 3 hours (comparable to early labor contractions). I lost an INCREDIBLE amount of blood, which made me feel very weak and light-headed (after a phone call to the doctor and assurance that it was normal, we ended up not going to the ER). Once the tissue passes (which the doctor asked us to collect and bring in for testing...ugh!), the cramps stopped immediately. The bleeding has definitely slowed down, but I'm told may last for another week or two.

We're praying that everything is over & that I have passed everything that needs to be passed. I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow (Tuesday @ 1:30) to see what the next step is. There's always a chance that my body didn't fully discard everything and that they'd have to still do a D&C. Please pray that this won't be the case.

I hope I didn't offend anybody with too many details. As hard as this has been, there has also been a sense of awe and praise through it all. God is so AMAZING!! Pregnancy is such an amazing and complicated process! It's incredible, really, all that has to happen in order to make a healthy baby!! And in His infinite wisdom & love, God created women's bodies to do this (to miscarry) when something is not happening the way He designed it to. We are obviously saddened by our loss, but we are so grateful that we serve a God who is sovereign and takes care of us when we are hurting.

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There are 2 songs that we have listened to a lot in the last few days that I wanted to share. One song, "Blessed Be the Name," is a very familiar song to many of us, but it sure meant something new and different to us as we went through this experience.

BLESSED BE YOUR NAME
by Matt Redman

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name

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NEW DAY
by Robbie Seay

I'm gonna sing this song
To let you know that you're not alone
And if you're like me You need hope, coffee, and melody
So sit back down Let the world keep spinning ‘round
For yesterday's gone and today is waiting on you to show your face.

It might not be
The prettiest thing that you'll ever see
But it’s a new day, oh baby, it’s a new day
And it might not look like
A beautiful sunrise
But it's a new day, oh baby, it’s a new day

I’m a pilgrim soul
I've traveled far and come back home
This land is hard and cold
For those who long to love
And I know it might seem
That the world is crumbling
But it’s me and you dancing in the kitchen at 2 am
And we're still alive

It’s the calm of the storm that comes blowing in
It’s the springtime saying I'm back again
The clouds that roll by
Crossing moonlight
Me and you love – everything's alright
Standing in the rain with nowhere to go
Laughing and we're spinning and I hope that you
Remember this day
For the rest of your life
Me and you love – everything’s gonna be alright

And it just might be
The prettiest thing that you'll ever see
It’s a new day
Oh baby, it’s a new day
If you look outside
To see a beautiful sunrise
It’s a new day